Doing this with people makes them feel awkward, introverted, and endure the discomfort. Your friends and colleagues can notice themselves tensing up, cause all of you are uncertain if you’re willing to go there together. However, each time you try it out, the reward is waaay bigger than expected. If you commit to doing it no matter what, you will come out of it feeling enriched and open-hearted. That’s all about the idea of Authentic Relating.
This article introduces Authentic Relating, and we will share two games you can try.
Deep connection with people: why is it so hard?
You may think you have to experience a sense of connection with employees and colleagues as a default state. This is not always true ❤
The feeling of connection is easier to come by when you have nothing to lose. It’s easier to risk asking deeper questions, try on different ways of being, and be curious. But the more time and energy you invest in a relationship, the more you want to preserve what you built together. The longer an employee or a colleague stays with you, the more established unspoken behavior “rules” become, and it may feel scary to challenge them. However, when conflict comes, you need to take the first step, challenge yourself to open your heart and use all the Soft Skills you’ve ever learned. You must feel connected to the person sitting next to you. That’s where Authentic Relating comes in.
What Is Authentic Relating?
Sara Ness, founder of Authentic Revolution, the facilitator and unofficial organizer of the AR movement, the Austin outfit, estimates that 4,000 to 5,000 people go to similar game nights each week worldwide.
“Authentic Relating games are simple safe spaces to be real and create connections.” — Sara Ness.
The thing is, we grow older
And we develop a lot of beliefs, stereotypes, and unspoken “does” and “don’ts” around what’s acceptable in our environment. As a result, you’re not the one you wanted to be anymore. Here is the moment where anger and frustration begin. And this is the very thing that limits the potential for connection.
For example: Being angry or too enthusiastic in conversations in most cultures made children “bad ones.” The whole culture demonizes these emotions. As they grow older, they don’t know how to express feelings safely, making it impossible for the other person to relate to them. The same thing with being too proud, sad, making jokes, or staying too quiet. The more “rules” you follow the fewer opportunities for connection.
Two relating games to start your meeting
These AR games can be effective ice-breakers to make people move and at the same time open an extra space for connection in a Business English classroom, team meeting, or corporate party.
#1 Anybody else?
This game is high on fun and energy. Not quite as deep as other games, but it gets everybody out of their chairs and moving around.
Arrange everyone in a circle. Everyone must be seated in a chair. If women are wearing high heels, have them take them off. One person in the center of the circle is going to share something about themselves; then they will say, “Anybody Else?”
If the statement is true for anyone else, they immediately stand up, and all those people need to scramble to find an empty chair to sit in quickly. And, here’s the catch: there will be one less chair than people, so whoever is left standing now has the opportunity to stand in the middle and share something about themselves with the room.”
For example, the person in the center might say, “I have a fetish for people dressed in
Muppet costumes. Anybody else?” Everyone else with this Muppet fetish stands up and races to find a new seat to sit in, including the person in the center.
Since there will be one less chair, whoever doesn’t get a seat is now in the middle, and the game continues.
Number 1: You can’t sit back in the same chair you stood up from, nor in an adjacent one.
Number 2: You must wait until the person in the center of the room says, ‘Anybody else?’ before you leave your chair.
#2 Moving motivators
Motivators is an exercise meant to help us reflect on motivation and affect organizational change. Here is the set of 10 Intrinsic Motivations: CHAMPFROGS. It’s better to have 2-3 sets to split your group up into teams of 3-4 people.
People in groups need to define which motivators are important to them and place the cards in order from left (the least important) to right (the most important). Discuss how change affects people’s motivators.
For example: If you’re wondering if you should change jobs, which would mean moving to another city, learning a new skill, and making all new friends, how does that impact what motivates you? It’ll most likely increase some motivators and decrease others.
Move the cards up for a positive change and down for a negative one, and then look at whether you have more cards up or down. This is a great way to help make decisions.
Time for reflection and class discussion. Talk to the other groups about which motivators are least and most important.
Use these two games to better insight into what drives your colleagues to create stronger relationships and increase collaboration.
And don’t forget to drop us a line to know more about the managing meeting course, and we’ll teach you how to make your meetings even more efficient and sincere.